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Archive for the ‘life coaching’ Category

giftPRIZE ANNOUNCEMENT

In my last post MY GIFT – YOUR GIFT, I asked people to share inspirational quotes or short stories as gifts to others. In return, those who participated were included in a drawing to win complimentary admission to my picture book writing course Art of Arc. I also offered two Art of Arc students or alumni complimentary picture book critiques. I’ve decided to give a bonus gift, so three people have won the course and two have won critiques. Congratulations to the following winners!

COMPLIMENTARY ART OF ARC COURSE

Ann Magee

Julie Bergmann Lacombe

Chris M. Regier

COMPLIMENTARY CRITIQUE

Gabrielle Schoeffield

Linda Schueler

 

A fun drawing by Teresa Robeson from her blog ONE GOOD THING.

A fun drawing by Teresa Robeson from her blog ONE GOOD THING. Click on the image to see more of her work.

 

th (1)

JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS 

I first offered a version of this post in 2012. It was titled THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN. Each year since, I’ve modified my original post and reposted it. Before I share the 2016 modified version, I’d like to thank everyone who has supported my blog and me throughout the year. I wish you all a very Happy New Year. May the New Year bring each of you all that your heart desires.

Now for JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. . . .

A common question in life coaching is, “What’s the difference between a life coach and a therapist?” The answer goes something like this: Imagine you are driving a car through life with a psychotherapist as your driving instructor. The psychotherapist will spend a lot of time instructing you to look through your rearview mirror at where you have been. A “life coach” driving instructor will encourage you to look out your windshield at where you are going.

A NEGATIVE DRAIN

Today, I am going to swim against the life coaching current and ask you to look back at where you have been. New Year’s resolutions often have roots in the past. We look back, with a certain amount of regret, at what we failed to accomplish in the outgoing year. Focusing on our shortcomings, we resolve to make up for them in the New Year; usually with bigger and better plans than before. Although setting these goals can leave you feeling hopeful, looking back with self-judgment can sap your confidence and drain your spirit.

ENERGIZE YOUR SPIRIT

Instead of looking back at your shortcomings with regret, look back at your successes with confidence and gratitude. Looking back and acknowledging your accomplishments will give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes and energize your spirit as you look forward to your new year.

YOUR LIST

Over the next couple of weeks, take some time to reflect on 2016 and list the things that you accomplished throughout the year. I hope you will celebrate your successes by coming back and sharing some of your discoveries in the comments section of this post or share them on your own blog. The most important part of this challenge is recognizing the positive, energizing events of 2016.

QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON YOUR LIST

  • How did you grow personally, professionally or as a writer?
  • Did you have a positive impact on others?
  • What writing skills did you learn or strengthen?
  • Did you improve organizational skills?
  • Did you find the secret to time management?
  • Did you complete any writing challenges?
  • Did you join any groups?
  • What personal strengths did you gain?
  • What goals did you achieve?
  • What unplanned accomplishments did you achieve?
  • What character qualities did you strengthen?
  • Have you improved your communication skills?
  • Have you gotten better at saying no to others, to yourself, or to activities that drain you?
  • What acts of kindness did you share?
  • What special, memory building moment did you have with family, friends, writing groups, by yourself and so on?
  • Did you submit any of your writing? If you want to challenge yourself to submit more in 2016 join my Sub Six private manuscript submission support group on Facebook.
  • Did any submissions get accepted for publication?
  • Did you get any rejections with encouraging notes?
  • Did you find a positive way to accept rejections?

For tips on celebrating your achievements see CELEBRATE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS BIG AND SMALL. Be sure to scroll down to the section about the achievement jar, so you can celebrate all through 2017.

Below I share some my 2016 achievements.

  1. I signed a four-book deal for my chapter book series SIENNA THE COWGIRL FAIRY with Clear Fork Publishing. In the process, I met some great new friends and my fantastic editor Callie Metler-Smith.
  2. I attended the Big Sur Cape Cod workshop and spent time with my lovely friends Sylvia Liu, Victoria Warneck, and Teresa Robeson.
  3. I continued to help other writers via my Art of Arc course and critiques. And other writers helped me with some great critiques and brainstorming.
  4. I completed the Nonfiction Archaeology course.
  5. I made my first serious attempts at writing two different nonfiction picture books. And I found the courage to submit them!
  6. I celebrated many, many friends’ successes – book contracts, book releases, agent representation and so on. Go Kid lit Community!
  7. I took care of myself during rough times and celebrated my fun times with joy.
  8. I continued to practice one of my favorite author survival skills, which is write from the heart – submit with detachment. I also encouraged others with positive and inspirational quotes on Facebook and Twitter.
  9. I completed my 5th 12 X 12 writing challenge and had the pleasure of working as a 12 x 12 Critique Ninja.
  10. I ended 2016 by gifting my picture book writing course ART OF ARC: How to Analyze Your Picture Book Manuscript (deepen your understanding of picture books written with a classic arc) and some picture book critiques.

Now it’s your turn. Celebrate with us by sharing your accomplishments.

Best wishes in 2017! Wait, there’s more. This would have been my sixth year of participating in Tara Lazar’s PiBoIdMo (Picture Book Idea Month) challenge, but there have been some changes. My sixth year will have to wait until January 2017, and I will be participating in STORYSTORM instead. To read about the changes and how to register click on the following badge. Thirty story ideas in thirty days, with inspiration, great faculty, and prizes, too!

storystorm-badge

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UNEARTH YOUR PROTAGONIST’S TRUE GOAL.

By Alayne Kay Christian

dig

CAN YOU DIG A LITTLE DEEPER?

In my picture book writing course, Art of Arc: How to Analyze Your Picture Book Manuscript, I talk a lot about consequences. What does the protagonist stand to lose if he does not solve his problem or reach his goal? Why is it important to him on a personal level? This is one way to get your readers to connect with the protagonist on an emotional level. That connection makes the reader want to keep reading.

Sometimes, writers have difficulty giving their protagonist a strong goal that will carry the story and engage the reader. I often fall back to my life coaching days when I think about story characters, and I’d like to share how I relate character goals to coaching clients’ goals.

Very often, clients come to a life coach with surface goals. One of the first things I do with new clients is work to get to their deeper goals. The goals that really matter. The goals that will motivate the client and drive her to take action. If after exploring and digging, the client can’t unearth her true desires, I try a different approach. I ask the client what she doesn’t want. It seems that it is much easier for most people to identify and express what we don’t want. And this brings us back to our story writing. When searching for a strong goal, try asking yourself, “What is my main character trying to avoid? What does he NOT want?”

One more little tip along the same lines. A main character’s goal can be something he doesn’t want. And that is what I will leave you to think about today. Now for some exciting news.

 

AWARD WINNER, A MORNING WITH GRANDPA HAS BEEN RELEASED!

gong gong cover

 

Books that we authors write often feel like our babies. Books that our critique partners write can sometimes feel like nieces and nephews. Today, I would like to welcome my new little niece into the world. The winner of the Lee & Low New Voices Award, A MORNING WITH GRANDPA was written by my friend and critique partner Sylvia Liu. The fabulous illustrations were created by Christina Forshay.

Gong gong signing

Sylvia signing preorders at Prince Books in Norfolk, Virginia.

gong gong book shelf

On the shelf!

REVIEW

By Alayne Kay Christian

Inquisitive, bubbly Mei Mei watches Grandpa “dance slowly among the flowers in the garden.” He moves “like a giant bird stalking through the marsh.” His arms sway “like reeds.”

“What are you doing, Gong Gong?” Mei Mei asks. And this starts a dance between inquisitive, bubbly Mei Mei and patient, loving Gong Gong. Every page walks the reader through this beautiful, playful relationship. Mei Mei’s creative attempts to follow her grandfather’s tai chi moves bring smiles when I read and explore all there is to see in the illustration. While I keep smiling, the end tugs at my heartstrings as the dance continues with a fun but touching role reversal.

Sylvia Liu and Christina Forshay are perfect dance partners as well. Liu’s wonderful storytelling with lovely lyrical language paired with Forshay’s lively, flowing illustrations create a dance of their own. It’s a winning combination! As a mother, grandmother, author, and picture book writing teacher, I highly recommend this beautiful book.

Gong Gong spread 2

Art by Christina Forshay, used with permission from Lee & Low Books

 

MORE REVIEWS AND SOME GREAT INTERVIEWS

I considered interviewing Sylvia, but there are already some excellent interviews and other reviews out there, so I thought I would share the links to them.

Lin Gong offers a review and a great interview.

The Reading Nook Reviews gives an extensive review.

Kirkus Reviews offers their praises of A MORNING WITH GRANDPA.

Publisher’s Weekly offers their views here.

Yvonne Mes interviews Sylvia with questions about winning the Lee & Low New Voices Award and much, much more.

 

Sylvia NewSylvia Liu was inspired to write this story by the playful and loving relationship between her children and their Gong Gong. Before devoting herself to writing and illustrating children’s books, she worked as an environmental lawyer at the U.S. Department of Justice and the nonprofit group, Oceana. She lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia, with her husband and two daughters. This is Sylvia’s debut picture book. Visit her online at www.enjoyingplanetearth.com.

 

Christina ForshayChristina Forshay is a full-time illustrator known for her colorful images and joyous style. Born and raised in sunny California, she was inspired to become an illustrator by her many visits to Disneyland and by watching hours of cartoons as a child. Today, she still watches cartoons for inspiration for her illustrations! Christina lives with her husband, son, daughter, and two dogs in California. Visit her online at www.christinaforshay.com.

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th (1)JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS WITH THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN

I offered my first THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN CHALLENGE in 2012. Each year since, I have modified my original post and reposted it. Before I share the modified version, I’d like to thank everyone who has supported my blog throughout the year. I wish you all a very Happy New Year. May the new year bring each of you all that your heart desires.

Now for THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN. . . .

A common question in life coaching is, “What’s the difference between a life coach and a therapist?” The answer goes something like this: Imagine you are driving a car through life with a psychotherapist as your driving instructor. The psychotherapist will spend a lot of time instructing you to look through your rearview mirror at where you have been. A “life coach” driving instructor will encourage you to look out your windshield at where you are going.

A NEGATIVE DRAIN

Today, I am going to swim against the life coaching current and ask you to look back at where you have been. New Year’s resolutions often have roots in the past. We look back, with a certain amount of regret, at what we failed to accomplish in the outgoing year. Focusing on our shortcomings, we resolve to make up for them in the New Year; usually with bigger and better plans than before. Although setting these goals can leave you feeling hopeful, looking back with self-judgment can sap your confidence and drain your spirit.

ENERGIZE YOUR SPIRIT

Instead of looking back at your shortcomings with regret, look back at your successes with confidence and gratitude. Looking back and acknowledging your accomplishments will give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes and energize your spirit as you look forward to your new year.

THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN

Over the next couple of weeks, take some time to reflect on 2015 and list 31 things that you accomplished throughout the year. I hope you will celebrate your successes by coming back and sharing some of your discoveries in the comments section of this post or share them on your own blog. The most important part of this challenge is recognizing the positive, energizing events of 2015. Even if you are unable to list 31 achievements, come back and celebrate with us by bragging a little about your year.

QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON YOUR LIST

  • How did you grow personally, professionally or as a writer?
  • Did you have a positive impact on others?
  • What writing skills did you learn or strengthen?
  • Did you improve organizational skills?
  • Did you find the secret to time management?
  • Did you complete any writing challenges?
  • Did you join any groups?
  • What personal strengths did you gain?
  • What goals did you achieve?
  • What unplanned accomplishments did you achieve?
  • What character qualities did you strengthen?
  • Have you improved your communication skills?
  • Have you gotten better at saying no to others, to yourself, or to activities that drain you?
  • What acts of kindness did you share?
  • What special, memory building moment did you have with family, friends, writing groups, by yourself and so on?
  • Did you submit any of your writing? If you want to challenge yourself to submit more in 2016 join my Sub Six private manuscript submission support group on Facebook.
  • Did any submissions get accepted for publication?
  • Did you get any rejections with encouraging notes?
  • Did you find a positive way to accept rejections?

For tips on celebrating your achievements see CELEBRATE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS BIG AND SMALL. Be sure to scroll down to the section about the achievement jar, so you can celebrate all through 2016.

Below I share ten of my thirty-one achievements.

  1. I started 2015 with my first SCBWI annual winter conference in New York where I met many of my friends in person for the first time, including four out of six of my Penguin Posse critique partners.
  2. I developed a highly detailed picture book writing course. This was a long and challenging process that I must celebrate by sharing. I consider it a huge achievement. Yay!
  3. I completed Renee LaTulippe’s fantastic course  The Lyrical Language Lab: Punching Up Prose with Poetry
  4. I attended the excellent SCBWI workshop, Tammi’s Top Picture Book Writing Secrets with Tammi Sauer and Janee Trasler
  5. I started art classes.
  6. I completed Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen’s and Kami Kinard’s Kid Lit Summer School: The Plot Thickens
  7. I helped as many fellow writers as possible with their manuscripts.
  8. I learned to practice one of my favorite survival skills, which is write from the heart – submit with detachment.
  9. I completed my 4th 12 X 12 writing challenge and my 5th PiBoIdMo challenge.
  10. I ended 2015 with a very successful launch of my picture book writing course ART OF ARC: How to Analyze Your Picture Book Manuscript (deepen your understanding of picture books written with a classic arc).

I’m already planning for next year. I recently signed up for the 2016 Big Sur at Cape Cod, Andrea Brown Literary workshop. This is doubly exciting for me because I will be meeting up with some of my Penguin Posse sisters once again.

Best wishes in 2016!

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Vivian Kirkfield has asked me to participate in her “Goal-Busters” blog series by sharing some of my goals for 2014 along with how I plan to achieve my goals and how I will reward myself. I believe the post will go live on Monday, February 3. In the process of answering her “Goal-Busters” questions, I mentioned SMART goals, and I thought it might be helpful if I explain via my blog what a SMART goal is.

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Timely or Time-based


 

Specific – Setting a specific goal increases ones chance of achievement. General goals are too broad in scope. There is no clear vision to focus on. Specific goals pinpoint exactly what you are going after. To determine your specific goal answer the following questions:

Who:      Will I do this alone or will other people help me achieve my goal?

What:     Exactly what do I want to achieve?

Where:    Where will I work toward this goal? (home, work, gym, school, library)

When:     What time frame will I commit to?

Which:    Exactly what is required (skills, money, materials, etc.) to succeed, and what limitations or constraints need to be put in place?

Why:      Exactly why do I want to achieve this goal? What is the purpose? What does it mean to me? What are the benefits? What will I gain by achieving this goal?

EXAMPLE:  A general goal would be, “I will read more picture books.” A specific goal would be, “I will read 500 picture books and complete 24 mentor text studies in 2014. Every other week, I will borrow and read 21 picture books from the library, and each time, I will use at least one book as a mentor text to improve my pacing skills.


Measurable –Determine how you can measure your progress. It is not only important to measure your progress at the end of your goal. It is equally important to measure your progress as you work toward your goal. By doing this, you will know if you are on track to achieving what you set out to do, or if you need to adjust something to ensure your success.

Ask yourself: How much? How often? How many? How will I know when my goal has been reached?

EXAMPLE: In my ‘specific goal’ example above, I had a measurable end goal of 500 picture books read and 24 mentor text studies completed in 2014. I also had a smaller measurable goal of 21 picture books read and one mentor text study completed every other week. I could have also set it as a monthly measurable goal of 42 picture books read and two mentor text studies completed. I could of went smaller with – During my two week period, I will read two picture books a day, and complete my mentor text study during the remaining three days. Focusing on smaller goals will eventually add up to achieving the larger goal. The smaller goals seem more attainable, and with each success, the larger goal will seem more attainable as well.


Attainable – It is important to be sure that your goal is achievable. If the goal is too lofty, for example, read 500 picture books a week, it is most likely not an attainable goal. If you live in a rural area and the nearest public library is five hours away, going to the library twice a month, might be an unattainable goal.

When setting a SMART goal, you first need to believe that you can manage everything that you are setting out to do. If you set a goal that is unbelievable to you, you will most likely be unable to achieve that goal.

Your SMART goal also needs to be possible. If you set a goal to read 500 picture books and you have no affordable or obtainable access to picture books, no matter how much you would like to do it, your chances will be slim. Of course, you may find a way around it, so let’s try another example. If you set a goal to make 500 books magically appear by using your mind, you won’t achieve it no matter how hard you try. Okay, some people may believe that to be possible as well, but I think you get the picture by now.

My above examples of unbelievable goals are based on my belief system. When you consider whether your goal is possible or impossible, it is important to make your plans based on your own standards and understanding of your personal abilities, strengths and weaknesses. Do not let other people’s beliefs limit you or your own beliefs about what is achievable for you.


Realistic –  A realistic goal must be formed around an objective that you are willing and able to work toward. Setting a lofty goal can often be easier to achieve than a small/easily attainable goal because the challenge of a big goal can be a motivating force. But if the goal is so big that it is not realistic or it is unattainable, it might be time to rethink things.

Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe you can succeed. Another way to determine if you are setting a realistic goal is to ask yourself if you have ever achieved anything similar in the past. You might also go back to that “WHICH” question:  Exactly what is required to succeed, and what limitations or constraints need to be put in place? What conditions would have to exist for me to succeed? Are these requirements, constraints and conditions realistic?

It can sometimes be tempting to do something simply because it is easy, sounds like a good idea, or might be fun to try. This often results in finding that the action you have taken has no long-term importance to what you truly want to achieve. This is what I call distractions. Ask yourself: Is this goal important to, and in line with, my long-term vision/mission?

Some people who teach about SMART goals use the word relevant for the R word. They say that a goal must be relevant to what you want to achieve in the short term and the long term. Using Relavant as the R word encourages goal-setters to understand their personal vision, mission and purpose – see the whole picture – when setting a SMART goal, or any goal for that matter.


Timely or Time Based – A goal with no established time frame is far less motivating than a goal that is grounded within a time frame. Time frames provide a sense of urgency. If you simply stated that you want to read 500 picture books. You could still be working on (or thinking about) that goal in the year 2034, if you are still living. By knowing 21 books need to be checked out of the library this week and read within the next two weeks, your unconscious mind is set into motion, planning to begin working on that goal.

Considering a time frame overlaps with the SMART goal step “Specific.” It is emphasized as an individual step to drive home the importance of including this strong motivator in your goal plans. Having a deadline prevents procrastination. It has been said that a goal is a dream with a time frame. Dreaming it is not doing it. Doing it is meeting that deadline with a specific plan.

Some people who teach about SMART goals use Tangible for the T word. To me, tangible ties in with the question “WHY” because if the goal feels substantially real/material, the benefits are much easier to identify. A goal is tangible if it can be precisely identified or realized by the mind; if it can be appraised at an actual or approximate value; or when it can be perceived or experienced through one of the senses: taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing.

Tangible goals make it easier to make the goal measurable, and in the end, attainable.


If you are struggling to set a SMART goal, it could be because your future plans (mission/vision) are not clear enough. It would be a good idea to work at getting a clear vision of what you truly want and then go back to setting your SMART goals.

Taking time to identify goals that are most important to you will help you figure out ways to manifest your vision. Focusing on the steps of setting SMART goals can heighten your awareness of exactly what is required to realize your goals.

When you plan specific steps to your goal and establish a time frame for executing those steps, you can attain most any goal you set. It is my hope that taking the steps I have outlined above will expand your ability to reach goals that you may have thought previously unattainable. Stating goals clearly with specific steps will increase your confidence. You will realize that you are capable of achieving your dreams, you are worthy of that success, and you have what it takes to live your vision.

With every decision you make throughout your day, stop and ask yourself:

Does the action I am about to take move me closer to my goal, or further from my goal? If the answer is “closer to,” you are heading in the right direction. If the answer is “further from,” you have another decision to make.


How is your goal specific? What makes it specific? What makes it measurable? How will you measure your progress? Is it attainable? Why? Is it realistic? Why? Is it relevant? Why? Have you committed to a time frame? What is it? Is your goal tangible? How?

Once you have answered the above questions for your goals, write a vision statement for each goal. Read your vision statement daily, and track your progress through measurement.

EXAMPLE VISION STATEMENT: “I will read 500 picture books and complete 24 mentor text studies in 2014. Every other week, I will borrow and read 21 picture books from the library, and each time, I will use at least one book as a mentor text to improve my pacing skills.

Read Full Post »

th (1)JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

It is that time of year again. I have decided to modify my post from last year and repost it.

And here it is. . . .

A common question in life coaching is, “What’s the difference between a life coach and a therapist?” The answer goes something like this: Imagine you are driving a car through life with a psychotherapist as your driving instructor. The psychotherapist will spend a lot of time instructing you to look through your rearview mirror at where you have been. A “life coach” driving instructor will encourage you to look out your windshield at where you are going.

A NEGATIVE DRAIN

Today, I am going to swim against the life coaching current and ask you to look back at where you have been. New Year’s resolutions often have roots in the past. We look back, with a certain amount of regret, at what we failed to accomplish in the outgoing year. Focusing on our shortcomings, we resolve to make up for them in the New Year; usually with bigger and better plans than before. Although setting these goals can leave you feeling hopeful, looking back with self-judgment can sap your confidence and drain your spirit.

ENERGIZE YOUR SPIRIT

Instead of looking back at your shortcomings with regret, look back at your successes with confidence and gratitude. Looking back and acknowledging your accomplishments will give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes and energize your spirit as you look forward to your new year.

THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN

Over the next couple of weeks, take some time to reflect on 2013 and list 31 things that you accomplished throughout the year. I hope you will celebrate your successes by coming back and sharing some of your discoveries in the comments section of this post. The most important part of this challenge is recognizing the positive, energizing events of 2013. Even if you are unable to list 31 achievements, come back and celebrate with us by bragging a little about your year.

QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON YOUR LIST

  • How did you grow personally, professionally or as a writer?
  • Did you have a positive impact on others?
  • What writing skills did you learn or strengthen?
  • Did you improve organizational skills?
  • Did you find the secret to time management?
  • Did you complete any writing challenges?
  • Did you join any groups?
  • What personal strengths did you gain?
  • What goals did you achieve?
  • What unplanned accomplishments did you achieve?
  • What character qualities did you strengthen?
  • Have you improved your communication skills?
  • Have you gotten better at saying no to others, to yourself, or to activities that drain you?
  • What acts of kindness did you share?
  • What special, memory building moment did you have with family, friends, writing groups, by yourself and so on?
  • Did you submit any of your writing? If you want to challenge yourself to submit more in 2014 click on the Sub Six tab to learn more about our Facebook submission support group.
  • Did any submissions get accepted for publication?
  • Did you get any rejections with encouraging notes?
  • Did you find a positive way to accept rejections?

I will post some of my 31 after my list is completed. In the meantime, six writers and I share some of our 2013 achievements on Marcie Flinchum Atkin’s blog in her “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER” series.

For tips on celebrating your achievements see CELEBRATE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS BIG AND SMALL. Be sure to scroll down to the section about the achievement jar, so you can celebrate all through 2014.

Read Full Post »

hummingbirdBefore I get into the Trapped Hummingbird: Self-Created Fear portion of the post, I want to offer a quick blurb on picture book writing courses. One of the winners in the Grandparent’s Day writing contest mentioned that she is looking for more writing courses after completing a course through the Institute of Children’s Literature. Here is a short list of courses that are getting a lot of buzz. Please feel free to share additional courses in comments.

Susanna Leonard Hill’s MAKING PICTURE BOOK MAGIC course.

Mira Reisberg’s PICTURE BOOK ACADEMY

This one is FREE! Pam Calvert’s PICTURE BOOK UNIVERSITY

SELF-CREATED FEAR

Fear is a common stumbling block for writers and, for many people, in life. Before you continue reading, stop and take a moment to list some of your current fears. Once you have your list move on to the next paragraph.

The fears you have listed would most likely be nonexistent if you had no memory of your past and you did not have the ability to imagine your future. We all have our natural reactionary fear when we are in true danger, but I doubt that the fears you have listed are such. Look at your list, and consider the following questions for each fear. Is this fear something I have created in my mind based on past experiences or an imagined future? Is this fear keeping me stuck in place or leaving me feeling anxious?

One of the biggest fears that stand in our way as writers, and in life, is fear of the unknown. Most of us cannot possibly know the outcome of something, yet we create frightening scenarios in our mind that seldom come to be. Living a fearful life blinds us to new perspectives and opportunities. The darkness of our fear overshadows the light of our spirit.

TRAPPED HUMMINGBIRD

One morning, when I opened the garage door, I discovered that a hummingbird had been trapped in the garage overnight. Even though the now wide-open garage door left a huge escape route, the poor hummingbird could not find her way out. Why? Because she would not change what she was doing. She fluttered along the ceiling until exhaustion forced her to stop and rest on the garage door’s support brackets. Within moments, she commenced fluttering again – using up all her energy.

We opened the upper portion of a garage window that was only about a foot away from her resting place. Yet, with two good routes to freedom, she could not find her way out. She continued her exhaustive fluttering – resting routine over and over. I tried to lure her lower with a hummingbird feeder, so she could see the expansive escape route of the garage door. I went outside the window with the feeder and talked to her. My husband and I tried every way we could think of to guide her out of the garage. I believe she was so full of fear that she could not see the light emitting from her path to freedom. Finally, we decided to leave her alone, trusting she would eventually find her way out.

That evening she was gone. I believe she spent some time alone in peace where her fear subsided, and she could finally see the light and reclaim her freedom.

This story had two messages for me that I would like to share with you:

  1. My husband and I had to let go of our fears that the little bird would suffer injury or death. Then we had to let go of our efforts to control the situation. We had to let things unfold naturally.
  2. We only had goodness in our hearts and wanted nothing but the highest good for our little winged friend. Yet, her fear would not allow her to trust us. If she could have trusted, all her exhaustive struggling would have been unnecessary, and she could have found freedom with ease and much sooner.

What fears are creating struggles in your life? Holding you back? Slowing you down? Preventing you from trusting?

Read about other writers’ fears at Marcie Flinchum Atkins “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: FEAR.”

BONUS INSPIRATIONAL WORDS

This morning, I opened up Facebook to find some comments by Debbie Bernstein LaCroix. I thought her words would be perfect for this post. With her permission, I have included the comments below.

Here’s the thing… sometimes you have to take risks. Sometimes those risks will pay off, and sometimes they don’t. But if you want to be successful, it means trying new things and stepping outside your comfort zone. Later this week I will have a success story with Usborne that started 3 years ago. I totally took a leap of faith, and got nothing. Until 2 weeks ago… With writing, I take risks every time I send out a story. And most of the time, it comes with a rejection. It would be so much easier to quit. But I want to build and foster imaginations, so I don’t. When I share an idea with someone, it has the risk of failing. Some of my ideas end up horribly. Some of them take over 10 years to complete (The Children’s Museum)… but it’s all about knowing that you can do it, and not giving up. It’s OK to be scared. I am, a lot. But I know I have things to do. And I can’t do them if I just sit back and do what is easy. So here is my question to you, what risk will you take tomorrow?

(additional comment)

Just adding, I have a lot of people bringing me in to do author visits. For this, it’s a risk, an unknown. But the rewards for each are different… in building relationship, upping sales, fostering the love of reading or what ever their goal is. Just heard back from one that a Kindergarten teacher is really happy that I am going to be speaking to her classroom. She says they always get forgotten or ignored. Sure, speaking with the younger kids is a little more of a challenge in some ways. But they love to learn about where books come from too. Anyway, glad this consultant took a risk and that I can help make them happy.

To learn more about Debbie and Usborne visit the following.

Debbie’s Website

Debbie’s Blog

Usborne Books

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One day, after a discussion with my friend about manuscript rejections, she said to me, “We are just going to have to keep writing until we get it right.”

Part of me agreed with her until I woke the next morning thinking, Who says we don’t already have it right?

My daughter loves beets and I hate them. Which one of us is right? Or is the beet wrong for tasting the way it tastes? Sometimes, manuscript rejections might merely be an indication that we have not found the right match for our work – the person who will love our beets. Of course, this thought process doesn’t mean that I won’t keep trying to improve my craft. However, it does mean that I have decided not to let other people’s personal tastes make me doubt that I have it right. There are plenty of famous, extremely successful writers who were rejected numerous times before they found the right beet-eater.

I might not like beets, but I love black jellybeans. As far as other jellybeans go, red ones are okay, and green ones? Yuck! It is all a matter of taste for me. I think I would even reject the green ones if I were starving. I could take or leave the red ones. But I cannot resist a black jellybean.  I had to taste a lot of jellybeans before I could determine which flavor I like. I had to taste beets before I could learn that I hate them. Who knows what writing flavor an agent or editor will love without first offering them a taste? Yes, we can do our best to research what they like. But sometimes, it is a matter of building a relationship and learning their literary tastes.

Image

In the above image, there are very few black jellybeans.

Like an agent with manuscripts, I would have to reject a lot of colorful jellybeans to get to the flavor I like.

I have a friend who signed with an agent earlier this year. That same agent also rejected my friend’s first manuscript submission, and then another and another and another. My friend kept submitting manuscripts to this agent until she found the story that the agent could not resist. That story must have been a flavor the agent loves. Now, my friend is trying to rewrite the first rejected story to see if she can change the flavor enough to get her agent to take a bite.

I hope if you ever find yourself feeling dejected over a rejection that you will take any critique comments into consideration, but also keep in mind that sometimes rejections are nothing more than a matter of taste. Even the picture book/literary genius, Jane Yolen, gets manuscript rejections. This week, she shared on Facebook that she received a rejection from one of her favorite editors, and she will continue looking for the RIGHT editor for that particular book. To me, the RIGHT editor will be the one that loves the flavor of Ms. Yolen’s book.

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TWELVE METHODS FOR COPING WITH REJECTIONS

WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: REJECTION POST #1

WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: REJECTION POST #2

ROMELLE BROAS – REJECTION LETTERS FROM A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE

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