If you are looking for an excellent gift for the special child or children in your life, you may like this sweet picture book based on a true story. To give you a “try before you buy” opportunity, I’ve done a partial reading of An Old Man and His Penguin: How Dindim Made João Pereira de Souza an Honorary Penguin, which you can view below.
Giveaway #1
In the spirit of Christmas and the holidays, I am planning a drawing for free access to all my webinars. All you need to do is comment on this blog post, and state that you would like to be in the drawing. I would appreciate if you share this post in social media, too. The deadline for the drawing is January 3, 2023. For more information about my webinars, click here.
Giveaway #2
I currently have another giveaway with Seasons of Kit Lit until December 16. We are spreading holiday joy by giving away free access to my picture book writing course Art of Arc, which includes all my webinars, or a copy of my book The Weed That Woke Christmas: The Mostly True Tale of the Toledo Christmas Weed to one lucky winner. You may enjoy reading the interview where I share my inspiration for The Weed That Woke Christman along with some other tidbits about me and the story. To read the interview or learn more about the giveaway, click here. Thanks to Lynne Marie and Heather Macht for including me and my book in the holiday fun.
Now for the reading of An Old Man and His Penguin. Enjoy!
More Readings and gift ideas
My other two picture books make lovely gifts as well. In addition to children with long-distance grandparents, long-distance Grandma’s appreciate the gift of Butterfly Kisses for Grandma and Grandpa. The Weed That Woke Christmas: The Mostly True Tale of the Toldedo Christmas Weed brings the spirit and heart of Christmas to young one’s year round.
The Kid-Lit Writing Wisdom team is gradually working our way into topics such as submission and marketing. But we feel it’s important to talk about the craft of writing along with the writer’s life first, which will also include the topic of critiques and critique groups. So, it seems the best place to start is the beginning. When I was acquisitions editor for Blue Whale Press, if the first lines of a manuscript didn’t capture me, the story usually didn’t engage me. I always say, if the first lines don’t hook the agent or editor you’ve submitted to, what will make them think they will capture readers?
This month, I asked our wise authors to share thoughts on the importance of powerful first lines along with some tips for writing an outstanding beginning or outstanding first lines. I’m excited to share our many fabulous tips and examples. These tips can also be used for revising your stories’ beginnings, so you get double the treasure with these posts. This is such an important topic that we will have three parts for this topic. You’ll notice that some of our wise authors talk about the ending of the story as much as the beginning. There is good reason for this. In my picture book writing course Art of Arc, I interrupt the lessons on writing beginnings to talk about endings. Following are a few excerpts from Art of Arc to explain why it’s smart to think about endings when writing your beginning. You’ll also find more on the subject of endings in some of the wise-authors’ answers in this post and the two to come.
Excerpts from Art of Arc
“You might think that endings would be the final lesson presented in a course on writing and analyzing picture books, but another common problem that I have found in writing critiques is there is often a disconnect between the beginning of the story and the end. The ending has so much to do with the beginning and the rest of the story that it is important to start thinking about it at the beginning.”
“. . . From the beginning and all the way through the story, the destination is the ending. Therefore, every word, sentence, and scene should relate to the ending. And the ending should relate to the beginning.”
WE HAVE A BONUS!
I will give away free access to my webinar HOW TO WRITE POWERFUL FIRST PAGES LIKE A PRO to one lucky winner. To enter for a chance to win, please comment on one of the three posts about writing outstanding beginnings and share the link on Twitter or FB. Please tag me when you share the link, so I can make sure I get your name in the drawing.
Most of the people in this group are from my groups for 2021 picture book releases: 2021 Word Birds and Twenty One-derful Picture Books. Before I move on, I’d like to congratulate one of our Twenty One-derful group members Gabi Snyder. Her picture book LISTEN, illustrated by Stephanie Graegin, will be coming into the world on July 13. Happy Early Birthday baby LISTEN!
Also, friends have made me aware that I failed to let the world know about my latest Sienna, the Cowgirl Fairy Book: COWBOY TROUBLE. So, I thought this would be a good time to let everyone know it is there and would make an excellent summer reading book. You and your children can read the first three chapters on You Tube (see below). The “cowboy trouble” begins in chapter three. I also share the book trailer for anyone who is interested.
Since, as usual, my answer is the most wordy, I will lead with it.
THE FIRST LINES OF A BOOK ARE THE DOOR TO YOUR STORY. THE WORDS INVITE THE READER TO STEP OVER THE THRESHOLD AND ENTER THE STORY WORLD.
I decided to take the easy way out and pull some excerpts from my picture book writing course Art of Arc. Unfortunately, it ended up being a hard way to go because I struggled to choose just a few words to share from the course. I thought it might be fun to introduce some of the reasons a strong beginning is so important. So here goes. . . .
Have you ever seen carnival barkers in old movies? “Step right up!” they shout to people passing by. They describe attractions. They emphasize variety; advertise novelty, oddity, beauty, challenge, and fun. Their barks are intended to create curiosity, generate excitement, and entice listeners to buy tickets to entertainment. Sometimes, they conduct short shows for free, where they introduce performers and describe acts. Their promises of entertainment are all intended to entice and incite the passersby to come on in!
In the old days, or in old movies, a newspaper boy shouted things like, “Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Bonnie and Clyde shot dead!” The purpose of this? All to create excitement and curiosity that would entice people to buy an extra edition of the newspaper.
Without the red carpet and fanfare on Oscar night, would the event be nearly as exciting, inviting, or enticing?
In the movie, The Wizard of Oz, would the beginning have been nearly as engaging without the yellow brick road, the fantastic send-off song, and Dorothy’s cheerful dance down the road? Not to mention, the switch from black and white images to color. What if Dorothy had just said, “Okay—I’ll go find the wizard.” and then shuffled along aimlessly in silence through a black and white setting, sans the road? Would we have been as eager to follow her into the story?
The barkers, the newsboys, the red carpet, and the yellow brick road all pave the way for an event, an experience, a journey, an adventure, or whatever it might be, to unfold. The first lines in our books pave the way for our idea/story/plot and our protagonist’s and readers’ journey to unfold. The whole objective of first lines is to capture readers’ attention and make them want more. We want to entice and incite them to come on in, buy into the experience, and commit to taking the journey with our protagonist. This is often referred to as the hook.
A good hook creates questions and curiosity. It makes a promise that says, “This is what the story is about.” It also sets expectations and maybe even evokes emotions. Wow! That’s a lot to accomplish in a picture book page or two. This is true, but writers do it all the time, proving that it can be done. . . .
. . . In picture books, we often incite the reader’s interest with words such as the following, “but,” “until,” “one day,” and we use the three little dots . . . called the ellipsis. Interestingly enough, these words and punctuation that incite the reader to turn the page usually lead to the inciting incident—the event that energizes the story’s progression. This event moves your protagonist into the action of the story. It also pulls him out of his ordinary world into a new world where change can occur—the door to our story.
Why are these words (“but,” “one day,” “until” and so on) or the ellipsis used so frequently? They work to keep the reader reading. How? They create a pause or a moment of silence that gives the reader an opportunity to think, imagine, guess, ask questions, and experience emotions. It makes them stop and pay closer attention. Using these techniques hint at what’s to come, which in turn creates curiosity. Sometimes they are the arrow that points to the heart of the story. Using these techniques are great ways to hook a reader. They all suggest there is something coming, and they create anticipation. It could lead to an answer, reveal a secret, hint at danger, present the unexpected, and so on. All of the above hook the reader. When the reader is hooked, she is pulled into the story far enough that she wants to read more.
I’d love to share more, but we have many great words of wisdom waiting for you, so let’s move on.
HOW DO WE KEEP OUR READERS INTRIGUED AND WANTING MORE?
Richard Peck said: “You’re only as good as your opening line.” How do we keep our readers intrigued and wanting more?
Ask a question. Asking a question gets readers thinking. Not a Box immediately asks: “Why are you sitting in a box?” We want to turn the page to find out the answer. The Day the Babies Crawled Away questions: “Remember the day the babies crawled away?” This piques our interest. We want to know what happened on that fateful day. Did the babies survive? Where did they go?
Take People by Surprise. Mustache Baby declares: “When Baby Billy was born, his family noticed something odd: He had a mustache.” A baby with a mustache? We have to read on. Leonardo the Terrible Monster tells us: “Leonardo was a terrible monster…he couldn’t scare anyone.” A monster who isn’t scary? I can’t wait to turn the page.
Use word play. Being Frank starts with: “Frank was always frank” and Bridget’s Beret is similar: “Bridget was drawn to drawing.” There’s nothing better than the clever use of words to get people wanting more.
Using questions, surprise, wonder, opinion and word play makes the first sentences of our stories irresistible.
FIRST LINES THAT ECHO THROUGHOUT THE STORY—AN EFFECTIVE TECHNIQUE
One of my favorite techniques when I am writing is to use a first line that will be echoed throughout the book.
For example, the first line of Juniper Kai: Super Spy reads, “Juniper Kai was born to be a spy.” This line comes back in the middle, when Juniper is feeling left out: “It didn’t matter if she had nobody to play with. Because Juniper Kai was born to be a spy. And spies work alone.” Then the line comes back a third time at the end: “Juniper Kai was born to be a spy. And spies work alone. Sometimes. But sometimes a spy needs a good co-agent. And Juniper Kai knew she was born to be…a spy-tacular big sister.”
Another example is in I Got a Chicken For My Birthday. Like the title, the first line reads, “I got a chicken for my birthday.” This line is repeated throughout the book: ”I got a chicken for my birthday. And the chicken has a list.” “I got a chicken for my birthday. And now the chicken stole my dog.” The line then comes back at the end. “I got a chicken for my birthday. And it was the Best. Present. Ever.”
The reason I like this technique so much is that you can see your character growing and changing by the way that repeated line is used at the end compared with at the beginning. In Juniper Kai: Super Spy, Juniper goes from being a lonely only child to wondering what secret her parents are hiding, to being an eager big sister. In I Got a Chicken For My Birthday, Ana goes from feeling perplexed (and a bit annoyed) by the strange birthday gift from her grandmother, to even more perplexed (and more annoyed) as the chicken begins recruiting her pets to build something huge in the backyard, to feeling absolutely thrilled (and realizing that her grandmother knew exactly what she was doing all along).
I also love this technique when I see it in other people’s writing! Any book that starts and ends with a similar line tends to leave me smiling and satisfied!
FIRST LINES PROVIDE A PEEK INTO THE WORLD OF THE STORY
by Melissa Stoller
First lines in a picture book set the tone and the mood for the story. Like an invitation that might provide an initial glimpse into the theme of a party, a first line can provide a peek into the world of a story. When I draft the first few lines, I try to give the reader an idea of what will come next, what the character might want, and a little bit about the setting, if possible. Of course, I write, rewrite, revise, and tweak as the story evolves. The first line that I start with is usually not the first line that is printed. Also, when I finish writing the story, I go back to ensure that the ending works with the beginning. I love to have first and last lines that complement each other, that show growth of the main character, and that leave the reader with that special something that makes them want to read the story over and over.
Here are examples of first and last lines from two of my picture books:
The beginning of a story is still very much a draft until I write and then polish the ending. Eventually, I return to the beginning and rework it until I’m satisfied that it aligns with (and is worthy of) the ending I have carefully crafted. Sometimes I discover that the “beginning” is actually several sentences into the story I have written, which means I have to cut some (often many) of my beloved words. To make this process easier on myself, I usually create a document called “darlings I had to cut” that I can copy and paste these tender words into, so I can bare to part with them in the working draft of my story. I rarely, if ever, go back and retrieve these “darlings,” but saving them “just in case,” allows me the creative freedom to vigorously revise, so the story can start right where it needs to, and without all of the unnecessary “throat clearing” that often shows up at the beginning of my earlier drafts.
I will also mention that Richard Peck offered his wisdom on this topic (as it relates to writing novels, but widely applicable), in this 2006 article for The Horn Book: In the Beginning: What Makes a Good Beginning?
MORE TO COME!
There will be two more posts (July 10 and July 17) on this topic with lots of great information coming from the following wise authors: Vivian Kirkfield, Beth Anderson, Marcie Flinchum Atkins, Pippa Chorley, Ellen Leventhal, Michelle Nott, Rosie Pova, and Rob Sanders.
It’s been months since I’ve written a blog post, but it’s time to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get going again. What a year this has been! I’ve bounced around a number of ways to approach this return to my blog. I even started down a path of several paragraphs talking about how when times get tough, the tough keep going. But that path also led me into a “true confessions and soul searching” direction that just didn’t feel right. So, I’m going to try a more direct approach to where I’ve been, what I need to do, and where I’m going. I’ll start with where I’ve been.
Please forgive any weird formatting issues. WordPress decided to change it’s format while I was away. I need a little more time to learn it.
Who Knew?
When my latest books were scheduled for release, who knew that we would be challenged with a pandemic that has changed nearly everyone’s life? Who knew that my first picture book in ages, An Old Man and His Penguin: How Dindim Made João Pereira de Souza an Honorary Penguin, would be released eighteen days after I had knee replacement surgery? Who knew that the surgery would still be holding me back nearly four months later? Who knew that my next picture book, The Weed that Woke Christmas: The Mostly True Tale of the Toledo Christmas Weed, would be released four days after my oldest brother’s death? Who knew that book two in the Sienna, the Cowgirl Fairy chapter book Series, Cowboy Trouble, would be rescheduled for 2021? Who knew, that my first picture book, Butterfly Kisses for Grandma and Grandpa’s tenth anniversary would slip by without acknowledgement or celebration? Who knew that it would be picked up by Clear Fork Publishing under the Blue Whale Press imprint, and continue selling all these years later?
My Brother and Me–I will miss him, but I carry him in my heart.
I didn’t know that my exciting book launches and the wonderful year I had planned for all of my beloved books would all come crashing down around me. I’ve been knocked down, but I’m getting back up (broken heart, bum knee, and all) and moving forward.
Trying to get in the spirit in spite of my challenges.
What I Need to Do and Why I Need to Do It
I need to make up for lost time and share the news of my books with y’all. I feel compelled to do this because I feel it’s only fair to the illustrators (Milanka Reardon and Polina Gortman) who worked so hard on my picture books. And it’s only fair to the beautiful books and heartwarming stories that people should get an opportunity to read them. It’s only fair that the kids and adults who will read them should be made aware that the books even exist. It’s only fair to João Pereira de Souza and Dindim to have their story told. It’s only fair to the citizens of Toledo, Ohio and the little weed that their story of unity be told when it seems we’ve forgotten how to love and care about one another as human beings. Along those same lines, I feel like I have an obligation to humanity to share these stories of love and kindness. They both touched my heart, and I want to reach as many other hearts as I possibly can.
You can help me and the illustrators as well as readers by requesting the books at your library and writing reviews. I would be forever grateful.
Future Posts
Keep an eye out for future posts. I’m going to start a new series called Arc Angels where published authors will analyze each other’s books and share with you how each made their stories shine by using the classic narrative and/or character arcs. I expect there will be prizes and giveaways along the way. I plan to share the very first version of Butterfly Kisses for Grandma and Grandpa with my crude illustrations and all. I will also share how the book started as one thing and ended up being another. And I’ll soon have a book trailer for Cowboy Trouble to share.
There are lots more great posts to come, but I will save them for surprises.
THE WEED THAT WOKE CHRISTMAS: THE MOSTLY TRUE TALE OF THE TOLEDO CHRISTMAS WEED
BOOK TRAILER
Review Excerpts
“A heartwarming holiday tale that proves even the littlest things can make a big difference.” —Kirkus Reviews
“The fine message about holiday spirit makes for a perfect read for parents seeking stories that encourage kids to feel empowered to begin changes that cross age and economic barriers. The Weed That Woke Christmas is a lovely, positive, much-needed story for modern times.” —D. Donovan, Sr. Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
“This sweet story is accompanied by lush illustrations by Gortman, who portrays Toledo’s citizens as diverse. The author manages to convey the importance of charity and community without making the tale mawkish or trite. She closes the text with the real story of the Christmas Weed and the hope that the holiday magic will continue.” —Kirkus Reviews
Description
This heartwarming and inspiring book proves that even the smallest gestures can make a big difference and transform apathy and oblivion into awareness, unity, community, kindness and hope. Partly truth and partly fiction, it is based on the true story of how a weed on a Toledo street corner helped spread the giving spirit far beyond its traffic island home. All Weed wants is to be seen, but people are in too much of a hurry to notice each other, let alone Weed. Weed watches, wishes, and waits until finally someone does see it. But Weed discovers that there is something far bigger and more important than a little weed being noticed.
AN OLD MAN AND HIS PENGUIN: HOW DINDIM MADE JOÃO PEREIRA DE SOUZA AN HONORARY PENGUIN BOOK TRAILER
Review Excerpts
“A moving, affectionate, and joyful tale, all the more so for being true.” – Kirkus Reviews
“An Old Man and His Penguin holds a number of important messages about human/animal relationships, love, oil slicks and their impact on sea life, and loneliness. . . . its underlying focus on letting go and reaping rewards from non-possessiveness offers an outstanding lesson about love for the very young.” —D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
“Adults looking for an inviting animal story with an important message will welcome this appealingly different seaside tale.” —D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
“The underlying lesson about compassion and good stewardship is subtle but effective; an author’s note explains the real-life circumstances. Reardon, who also illustrated the penguin-themed Noodles’ & Albie’s Birthday Surprise (2016), deftly captures the story’s charm and expressiveness.” —Kirkus Reviews
Description
Off the coast of Brazil, João rescues a lifeless, oil-covered penguin (Dindim) and nurses him back to health. Dindim adopts João as an honorary penguin, and the steadfast friends do everything together. They swim together, fish together, and stroll the beach together. But there are real penguins somewhere across the sea. So one day, Dindim leaves João. The villagers tell João the penguin will never come back. João cannot say if he will or will not. Are the villagers right? Will Dindim ever patter into his old friend’s loving arms again?
I chose to share this video because the narrator gives a sense of the heart of the story that ended up in my book THE WEED THAT WOKE CHRISTMAS: THE MOSTLY TRUE TALE OF THE TOLEDO CHRISTMAS WEED.
ANOTHER SHORT NEWS VIDEO ABOUT THE REAL CHRISTMAS WEED
I chose to share this video because it does a good job of showing the community coming together.
A SHORT NEWS VIDEO ABOUT JOAO AND DINDIM THE PENGUIN
BOOK LAUNCH POSTS
Thank you to all my friends who helped me share the news of my books via social media when I couldn’t! There are too many to mention, but you know who you are.
Thank you friends who featured my books on your blogs!!!!
My brain is still somewhat foggy, so if I’ve forgotten anyone, please forgive me and feel free to add your post in a comment.
Holidays are coming! How would you like a gift card to help you buy gifts? Would you like two signed copies of Sienna, the Cowgirl Fairy: Trying to Make it Rain to give as gifts? Or keep one for yourself and give the other away?
1. If you are 7-11 years old, draw a picture of a cowgirl or cowboy fairy.
2. And write a story about what you would do if you had cowgirl/cowboy skills and fairy powers. You are the main character or hero in this story. This story will be your adventure that results in something good happening for other people.
3. The story must be no less than 75 words and no more than 125 words.
4. The story must have a beginning, middle, and end.
5. Be sure to give your story a title (not part of word count) and to put your name as the author of the story. Sign your drawing too.
6. Honor system. You must create the story yourself and draw the picture yourself.
7. You may ask an adult to help you type the story (as you have told it) or take a picture of your handwritten story.
8. You may ask an adult to help you take a picture of your drawing.
9. You may ask an adult to help you enter the contest by posting it as a comment on this blog post by November 25, 2017.
10. You may do this as a class project. Everyone in your class will illustrate and write a story, and the class will vote to determine which story will be entered into the contest. Be sure to add to your entry your school name and location, your classroom number, your teacher’s name, and of course, the author’s name.
Cowgirl/Cowboy Fairy Abilities
As a cowgirl/cowboy fairy, you can . . .
• Ride horses.
• Use a lasso to capture anything.
• Herd cattle.
• Take care of horses, goats, donkeys, cows, pigs, and chickens.
• Fly.
• Use your wand and fairy dust to make magic.
• You can also add or create your own cowgirl/cowboy fairy powers and skills.
• Your friends may be fairies, humans, animals, or all of the above.
FOR ADULT WRITERS
Help me spread the word for this contest and your name will go in a drawing for your choice of one of the following:
• A signed copy of Sienna, the Cowgirl Fairy Trying to Make it Rain
• A picture book critique
• A chapter book (first three chapters only) critique
GUIDELINES FOR ADULT WRITERS DRAWING
1. Share one of the five prepared tweets below.
2. Visit my page in the SCBWI BookStop and sign my guest book, which is located on the right under my photo. Be sure to have a look around. There are lots of great 2017 children’s books to view. If you signed my guest book previously, that counts – just let me know in your comment.
3. Honor system. Share news of the contest with your child’s (or children’s) teacher(s), or any teacher, and your name will go in the hat twice!
4. Comment on this post to let me know you have tweeted and signed my guest book. And your name will be entered in the drawing. Good Luck! Don’t forget to let me know if you have shared the contest with teachers, so I get your name added a second time.
If you are looking for an excellent gift for the special child or children in your life, you may like this sweet picture book based on a true story. To give you a “try before you buy” opportunity, I’ve done a partial reading of An Old Man and His Penguin: How Dindim Made João Pereira de Souza an Honorary Penguin, which you can view below.
Alayne Kay Christian 