My friend, Renée LaTulippe, is hosting Poetry Friday this week. Poetry Friday is a weekly meme in which lovers and advocates of children’s poetry share their own kids’ poems, poems by major kids’ poets, interviews, videos, and more. Join the fun! Click here to learn more about Poetry Friday and to find the hosting schedule.
Several months ago, if I had heard the words Poetry Friday, I would have ran in the opposite direction. But because I am one of the lucky few to beta test Renee’s new online class, I have mustered the courage to share a little of my poetry today. Before the ‘reveal,’ I want to introduce Renee’s course, THE LYRICAL LANGUAGE LAB: PUNCHING UP PROSE . . . WITH POETRY!
I highly recommend this 4 week course. Editor, writer, and children’s poet, Renée LaTulippe, teaches the fundamentals of poetry for picture book writers, whether they plan to write in rhyme or not. The course covers basics such as meter, rhyme, and types of poetry, as well as techniques to bring poetic and lyrical language to one’s writing, both rhyming and prose. Renée will begin monthly classes in April 2014.
For the chance to win a FREE course and learn how to punch up your prose, just go comment on Renee’s giveaway post!
As you will see by some of my poems, I sometimes struggle with scanning beats or understanding stresses. But thanks to Renée’s course; her individual comments on each course participant’s work; her audio demonstrations of beats; and her great homework assignments, it is all starting to click for me. I finally have confidence that I can write rhyme, improve my poetry, and succeed in writing lyrical prose. Before this class, I had given up on writing rhyme and never dreamed of writing lyrical prose. Now, I dare to continue trying. The quatrains that I am sharing today show some of my first attempts in the course. They are from lessons two and four. The course offers 21 lessons. I thought it would be nice to show Renée’s excellent approach to helping her students understand what works and what doesn’t work and why. Therefore, I have included some of my poems that worked, some that didn’t quite work, and Renée’s comments on all.
LESSON FOUR
Alayne’s Anapestic Quatrain One
I see ice on my sill. Is this Texas?
It’s so cold, it’s so gloomy and dark
We had sunshine just yesterday noon
When we took a long walk in the park
Alayne’s Anapestic Quatrain Two
How I wish I had written The Elf on the Shelf
It’s a marketers dream to extreme
I am pleased my elf Blizzard arrived just in time
For some fun and some tricks – she’s a scream
Alayne’s Anapestic Quatrain Three
Can we mourn for a stranger, someone we don’t know?
Can a heart fall and break when a hero lets go?
Can a tear leave the eye on its own – will more flow?
I say yes, we are humans, our endless love grows
Renée: Well done, Alayne! You used headless and catalectic meter to good effect in the first quatrain with anapestic trimeter; a perfect mix of anapestic tetrameter and trimeter in the second; and perfect anapestic tetrameter in the third. WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Alayne: Holy Moly! I got them all right, Renee LaTulippe????? A first. I know they aren’t the best poems in the world, but just to get my stresses right puts me on top of the world and gives me SO MUCH HOPE! It must be very rewarding as a teacher to see a student grow.
Renée:YES!!!! Alayne, it is exciting and rewarding indeed! And don’t worry about content now – we’re just working on stresses. It’s a big hurdle to get over, and you guys are all SAILING THROUGH!!!
LESSON TWO
Alayne’s Iambic Quatrain One
I have some friends who help me out
When I am feeling down
If not for them, I’d sit and pout
Instead, I am a clown
Alayne’s Iambic Quatrain Two
Although I’ve tried, I can’t write rhyme (Or: Although I’ve tried, I cannot rhyme)
I can’t hear stresses or the beat
I’m working hard and taking time
To study both iambs and feet
Alayne’s Iambic Quatrain Three
I write, not clean. You all know that.
Cobwebs are dangling. Soiled dishes are stacked
It’s time to feed my starving cats
My house is filthy, but my subs are tracked
Renee’s Comments for Lesson Two Iambic Quatrains
I hate to tell you this, but your first quatrain is PERFECT. Yup! That means you have to stop saying you can’t write rhyme! PERFECT.
The second quatrain is ALMOST perfect – just the last line is off because you have put a stress where it doesn’t belong on the second syllable of IAMB. The stress has to go on the FIRST syllable. You could fix that line with: to STUDy Iambs, MEter, FEET.
The first and third lines of the third quatrain are also correct. Lines 2 and 4 are where things get sticky. Line 2 starts with a stressed syllable instead of unstressed, and there are some extra beats. In Line 4, “my house is filthy” is correct, but then you have extra beats with “but my.”
Renee’s possible fixes.
I write, not clean. You all know that.
The cobwebs cling, the dishes stack.
It’s time to feed my starving cats.
A filthy house–but subs are tracked!
For the chance to win a FREE course and learn how to punch up your prose, just go comment on Renee’s giveaway post!
Alayne Kay Christian 