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Posts Tagged ‘Life coaching’

Life is made up of many facets, and they are all equally important.  A fulfilling life is one of balance. Even though, this blog is for supporting writers, I would like to encourage you to view your life beyond writing. Some of the areas I will suggest you look at are as follows.

  1. Significant other, romance, love and sex
  2. Immediate Family (spouse, children, and grandchildren)
  3. Extended Family (parents, siblings, grandparents)
  4. Friends
  5. Home/physical environment
  6. Fun and Recreation
  7. Work/career
  8. Finances (money and possessions)
  9. Physical health
  10. Emotional health
  11. Mental health
  12. Honoring your values
  13. Self-care
  14. Relaxation
  15. Fulfilling personal needs
  16. Spiritual growth
  17. Personal growth
  18. Availability of writing time
  19. Writing space
  20. Writing knowledge
  21. Writing support from others
  22. Writing ideas
  23. Writing organization
  24. Writing submissions
  25. Writing ability

By looking at these areas, you will gain awareness of what might be missing in your life, or what might be needed in your life. Why is balance so important? Here is an example: Let’s say, like many people, you are focusing 75 – 80% of your energy on one area of your life, if something happens to change that one area, you won’t feel like you have much of a life left. Maybe you put most of your energy into your job or a relationship. If you were to lose your job or that relationship were to end, you would be knocked so off balance that it would most likely feel as if your life has ended. Using these examples alone, can you imagine how something like the above might impact your writing?

Where is your life out of balance?

Where do you focus the majority of your attention?

What life areas are most satisfying? What areas are least satisfying?

Have you been putting parts of your life on pause? If you are like most people, self-care is one of the most common things to be neglected. Things such as fun, time with loved ones, and your health are often put off until a tomorrow that seldom comes.

WRITER’S WHOLE LIFE PERSPECTIVE “LIFE BALANCE” HOMEWORK

At the end of this post, you will find a “Wheel of Life for Creating Balance,” a “Health Wheel for Creating Balance,” and a “Writing Wheel for Creating Balance.” If you want to explore the facets of your life, duplicate these wheels and complete them as follows: Each section of the wheel represents an area in your life. With the center of the wheel rated as zero and the outer edge rated as ten, rank your level of satisfaction with each area of your life by coloring in the appropriate space (see the example below). Zero should be used to indicate that you are not satisfied at all, and 10 means that you are 100% satisfied.

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Copyright Alayne Kay Christian 2013

Once you have colored your wheels, look at the outer edges. Are they smooth and even? Or are they uneven? Imagine these wheels are on the car you are driving through life. How easily would the wheels turn? How bumpy would your ride be? Now, imagine that you have a deadline for a personal or professional writing commitment, but you must be traveling in this car. You have paper and pen in the car, and someone is driving for you. How many words do you think you would be able to write down during this crazy, bouncy ride? How good do you think the story would be? Do you think you would be able to make your deadline?

Keep your colored wheels for your visual representation when you come back for my next post.

Also, in preparation for my next post, please buy or make a journal. Any notebook will do. However, there is something to be said about having a “special” journal for exploring your “Writer’s Whole Life Perspective.” I had promised we would be doing some goal setting next, but I am honoring my right to change my mind. Besides, I suspect most of you have already satisfied your goal setting needs with the new year coming in. There are a few more steps in the process before it will be goal-setting time. Next, we will be looking deeper at the colored in wheels.

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I created a “Health” wheel separate from the “Wheel of Life” because I feel our wellbeing is the foundation for a balanced life. I also believe it is the part that often gets neglected the most.

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Copyright Alayne Kay Christian 2013

Your writing needs “for balance” might be different than the categories on my writing wheel. Feel free to create your own wheel based on what you believe is essential to your writing life.

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JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

A common question in life coaching is, “What’s the difference between a life coach and a therapist?” The answer goes something like this: Imagine you are driving a car through life with a psychotherapist as your driving instructor. The psychotherapist will spend a lot of time instructing you to look through your rearview mirror at where you have been. A “life coach” driving instructor will encourage you to look out your windshield at where you are going.

A NEGATIVE DRAIN

Today, I am going to swim against the life coaching current and ask you to look back at where you have been. New Year’s resolutions often have roots in the past. We look back, with a certain amount of regret, at what we failed to accomplish in the outgoing year. Focusing on our shortcomings, we resolve to make up for them in the New Year; usually with bigger and better plans than before. Although setting these goals can leave you feeling hopeful, looking back with self-judgment can sap your confidence and drain your spirit.

ENERGIZE YOUR SPIRIT

Instead of looking back at your shortcomings with regret, look back at your successes with confidence and gratitude. Looking back and acknowledging your accomplishments will give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes and energize your spirit as you look forward to your new year.

YOUR FIRST “WRITER’S WHOLE LIFE PERSPECTIVE” CHALLENGE

Thirty-One Just For Fun

Over the next couple of weeks, take some time to reflect on 2012 and list 31 things that you accomplished throughout the year. I hope you will celebrate your successes by coming back and sharing some of your discoveries in the comments section of this post. The most important part of this challenge is recognizing the positive, energizing events of 2012. Even if you are unable to list 31 achievements, come back and celebrate with us by bragging a little about your year.

QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON YOUR LIST

  • How did you grow personally, professionally or as a writer?
  • Did you have a positive impact on others?
  • What writing skills did you learn or strengthen?
  • Did you improve organizational skills?
  • Did you find the secret to time management?
  • Did you complete any writing challenges?
  • Did you join any groups?
  • What personal strengths did you gain?
  • What goals did you achieve?
  • What unplanned accomplishments did you achieve?
  • What character qualities did you strengthen?
  • Have you improved your communication skills?
  • Have you gotten better at saying no to others, to yourself, or to activities that drain you?
  • What acts of kindness did you share?
  • What special, memory building moment did you have with family, friends, writing groups, by yourself and so on?
  • Did you submit any of your writing? If you want to challenge yourself to submit more in 2013 click on the Sub Six tab to learn more about our Facebook submission support group.
  • Did any submission get accepted for publication?
  • Did yo get any rejections with encouraging notes?
  • Did you find a positive way to accept rejections?

THIS CHALLENGE IS NOT JUST FOR FUN

In spite of the name of this challenge, your list of 31 accomplishments is not just for fun. It will be a building block as we move forward with other challenges.

COMING UP NEXT:

JANUARY 9, 2013. Now that we have looked at the past, we will look at the present from a Whole Life Perspective. How smooth or bumpy is your life’s ride? Do your tires need balancing? You need to know where you are before you can know where you are going.

JANUARY 16: We will look at the future. If there are any New Year’s resolution addicts out there, you will be able to get your fix in a more positive way.

Disclaimer: Lest I offend any therapists, I will say that more and more therapists are integrating life coaching methods into their practice and helping their clients look forward.

 

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