WHERE IS THE LOVE?
by Alayne Kay Christian
“Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you: until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire: until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.” – NAPOLEON HILL
If you haven’t heard, I’m very excited to share that I have signed a multi-book deal with Clear Fork publishing. SIENNA, THE COWGIRL FAIRY: TRYING TO MAKE IT RAIN will be the first chapter book in the series, which is expected to be released in April 2017. More information to follow. I had an outpouring of love and cheers from the writing community, and I am overwhelmingly grateful.
Speaking of love, I spend a great deal of time sharing “the love” by trying to help fellow writers for free outside of my paid services. Why? Because that’s the kind of community I want to be a part of. A community that lifts others up not puts others down. I’ve always been proud to be a part of our loving, kind, and giving writing community. But I’ve noticed that sometimes people get caught up in negativity on social media. Writers talk a lot about diversity. We write about tolerance and acceptance of others. But sometimes we forget to apply them ourselves.
This is a close-knit community where many of us belong to the same groups. This means there is potential that most everybody sees a popular thread. Remember people, publishing houses, agencies, and people’s books that are called out by name in a negative way will likely be read by those being harmed by that discussion. Just for a moment, I will deem myself Grandmother of the kid lit world and ask that everyone, regardless of your personal agenda, please, please, please be respectful and considerate of the feelings of those who have chosen a different path than you or have taken a different path than you think you might choose in the future. For the dreams, goals, hearts, dedication, blood, sweat, and tears that they put into their work make them the same as you. Remember, you are talking about human beings and their projects that are near and dear to their hearts. Before you make a negative comment, consider who might read it, and try putting yourself in their shoes. How would you feel?
Don’t judge. Celebrate. Show some tolerance, acceptance, and compassion to your fellow writers. Bring back the love.
- If you’re experience makes you concerned that a fellow writer might be making a bad career choice, reach out to them privately.
- If your experience makes you want to warn new writers about contracts and signing with certain types of publishers or certain agents. Consider doing it in general terms and not by focusing on any one publisher or agent. Or again, do it privately.
- Lastly, condemning people or their work publically is not cool.
My goal here is to stop negative, hurtful, and harmful discussions. I always welcome comments, but please in the words of Thumper, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” Much appreciated.
I am shocked to read this, Alayne and sorry you’ve had to use your valuable time to address this nonsense! As a person who hopes to be published, I find each success, whether big or small, of my fellow writers to be truly inspirational. It’s what keeps me going;-)
Thank you, Linda. I agree, and my intention was to be a voice for many, not just myself. So I’m glad you feel the same way. Appreciate you letting me know.
I always quoted Thumper to my kids! So sorry to hear that negativity abounds about your recent news. Congratulations on your contract! I’m so happy for you!
Thank you, Kristi. Gotta love that little Thumper.
Thanks for always working to spread the love, Alayne, and many congratulations to you for your recent book deals. ❤
Thank you so much for the congrats, Lindsay. And for commenting. I’d share a heart back, but as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t know how.
Three cheers, Alayne, on your multi-book contract! I have enjoyed your many wonderful writing tips and also appreciate your focus on positive comments. Let’s face it, as writers we all need encouragement, not disparaging remarks.
I am grateful for you support and those three cheers, Barbara. You said it perfectly.
I’m so excited for you and the others who signed with your publisher recently. I wish all the best for all of you and was sad that the thread in question took away from what should be a purely exciting time for you.
Thank you for your kind words and wishes, Shari.
Congratulations on your contract! There’s a lot of love out there!
Thank you, Sherry. And I agree there is a LOT of love out there. That’s why I was so taken back by the subject of my post. I appreciate you stopping by.
Alayne, It seems someone always starts “throwing rocks”. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your publisher. I have always appreciated how supportive you are of all of us, including those of us who are unpublished. Enjoy your accomplishments and celebrate!
Thank you, so much fory your kind words. I am working to get back to enjoying my accomplishments and celebrating.
I applaud you, Alayne. Most professional.
Thank you very much, Pam
So sorry you and your publisher had to go through this. Thanks for this well spoken post. Sometimes the internet does not bring out the best in folks. Maybe if enough stand up about it, we can create the change we desire.
Thank you. I hope we can create change with all my heart.
What a wonderful Glam-ma you are to us writers, Alayne! I agree so whole-heartedly. It is a small world we are in and we need to remember to be kind. I have been in some of those online swirls where there was some agent-bashing and it was very uncomfortable. My decision was to leave this big group which could have been ver helpful for other reasons in my career. It surprised me that the moderate of the group did not step in and stop the thread.
I just could not tolerate that the person in question could not defend him/herself. We are all just wonderful yet flawed human beings. TY for holding up a mirror to the community and cheers an drove again for your series of chapter books! Huzzah and hugs.
Thank you for your support Kathy. And thanks for sharing your story. I just don’t understand it. Thanks for the hugs and cheers on my happy news.
About the agent incident in the comment immediately preceding mine:
That was wise of you to leave the group. Agents have long arms and lots of friends. They have reach. And excellent recall. I don’t know the particular incident you’re describing, but if it happens to be one I am remembering, leaving the group was better for your career than staying with it.
It’s sad that sometimes leaving a group is the only way to remove ourselves from negativity. Thanks for stopping by and supporting, Ruth.
Ignore this comment.