JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
It is that time of year again. I have decided to modify my post from last year and repost it.
And here it is. . . .
A common question in life coaching is, “What’s the difference between a life coach and a therapist?” The answer goes something like this: Imagine you are driving a car through life with a psychotherapist as your driving instructor. The psychotherapist will spend a lot of time instructing you to look through your rearview mirror at where you have been. A “life coach” driving instructor will encourage you to look out your windshield at where you are going.
A NEGATIVE DRAIN
Today, I am going to swim against the life coaching current and ask you to look back at where you have been. New Year’s resolutions often have roots in the past. We look back, with a certain amount of regret, at what we failed to accomplish in the outgoing year. Focusing on our shortcomings, we resolve to make up for them in the New Year; usually with bigger and better plans than before. Although setting these goals can leave you feeling hopeful, looking back with self-judgment can sap your confidence and drain your spirit.
ENERGIZE YOUR SPIRIT
Instead of looking back at your shortcomings with regret, look back at your successes with confidence and gratitude. Looking back and acknowledging your accomplishments will give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes and energize your spirit as you look forward to your new year.
THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN
Over the next couple of weeks, take some time to reflect on 2013 and list 31 things that you accomplished throughout the year. I hope you will celebrate your successes by coming back and sharing some of your discoveries in the comments section of this post. The most important part of this challenge is recognizing the positive, energizing events of 2013. Even if you are unable to list 31 achievements, come back and celebrate with us by bragging a little about your year.
QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED ON YOUR LIST
- How did you grow personally, professionally or as a writer?
- Did you have a positive impact on others?
- What writing skills did you learn or strengthen?
- Did you improve organizational skills?
- Did you find the secret to time management?
- Did you complete any writing challenges?
- Did you join any groups?
- What personal strengths did you gain?
- What goals did you achieve?
- What unplanned accomplishments did you achieve?
- What character qualities did you strengthen?
- Have you improved your communication skills?
- Have you gotten better at saying no to others, to yourself, or to activities that drain you?
- What acts of kindness did you share?
- What special, memory building moment did you have with family, friends, writing groups, by yourself and so on?
- Did you submit any of your writing? If you want to challenge yourself to submit more in 2014 click on the Sub Six tab to learn more about our Facebook submission support group.
- Did any submissions get accepted for publication?
- Did you get any rejections with encouraging notes?
- Did you find a positive way to accept rejections?
I will post some of my 31 after my list is completed. In the meantime, six writers and I share some of our 2013 achievements on Marcie Flinchum Atkin’s blog in her “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER” series.
For tips on celebrating your achievements see CELEBRATE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS BIG AND SMALL. Be sure to scroll down to the section about the achievement jar, so you can celebrate all through 2014.
Love, Love, Love! You inspired me to start my own 31 list and I’ve already got 27 filled in! Yes, I do feel better about myself this morning!
You go Juliana! That’s so great. I’m so glad you you are feeling good about yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves that we are often blinded to the good stuff. I’m glad you have taken out time to look at the good stuff. I hope you will come back and share some of your achievements when you have time.
Love the idea of accenting the positive instead of making resolutions and year end reflections all about regrets.
So glad the idea appeals to you, Barbara. I hope you’ll come back and share some of you positives.
Three are:
I’ve been more mindful of my eating.
I’ve gotten several manuscripts revised.
And I had a glorious time visiting my 15-month-old grandson.
Yay! Three cheers for Barbara Younger! Those are major achievements. Acknowledging your mindful eating and revised manuscripts must feel good and reinforce your continued efforts in those areas. And I have no doubt you are extremely grateful for you time with your grandson. There is nothing more precious.Thank you for sharing.
LOVE this, Alayne! You are so right that it’s much more beneficial to focus on what you’ve accomplished and move ahead from there than to feel bad about what you didn’t accomplish and try to make up for it. Your list of questions will be very helpful in evaluating!
Thanks, Susanna. When your evaluating is done, I hope you will come back and share some of your accomplishments. Now all I have to do is sit down and make my list so I can share. I am making my list in the back of my head while I prepare for dinner guests.
[…] on revising the manuscript I just got back from author and life coach Alayne Christian. I won a professional in-depth critique from her because of my participation in Sub Six and I know […]
Nice post, Vivian. I will be refreshing my to-do list tomorrow. Christmas is coming at warp speed. Thanks for the shout out on your blog.
Great list, Alayne. In writing for Marcie’s post, I did think back on positive things, but here I thought of more, Now, I feel even better than I did! Thank you.
I’m so glad, Donna. Feel free to come back and share some more of your positive things with us. I enjoyed reading your achievements in WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. I just thought of one of my 2013 achievements, I found a friend in you 🙂
Same here, Alayne. That’s the one I put at the top of my list! :0)
Thanks Donna!
Thanks so much for the list, Alayne! Very handy!
I’m so glad you find the list handy, Penny. I would love it if you would come back and share some of your 2013 achievements.
I second Susanna’s observation, Alayne. I love your example of the different types of driving instructors. Too many of us focus on the what ifs, should have, could have. Instead, we need to focus on taking steps to create the reality we want. I’m going to share this post with my husband and daughter…this is not just for picture book writers and illustrators.:) 🙂
Your list of questions is a great guide for evaluating and moving forward!
You are so right, Vivian. It is not just for picture book writers. It does my heart good to know that you will be sharing the idea with your family. Thank you for letting me know. You are welcome to come back and share some of your achievements, if you like.
OMG, I love this too! I am such a “glass half empty” person and I truly don’t want to be! It will be great to focus on what I have accomplished instead of obsessing over my failures!
I hear ya, on the “glass half empty” thing, Corey. I’m thrilled that my post has inspired you to step away from obsessing over failures and step into focusing on accomplishments. I hope you’ll come back and share some of your realizations with us. Thank you for letting me know that you love it.
Excellent list of things to reflect on, Alayne! I’m definitely going to think about it hard because I’ve been down on myself for not achieving more this year, but I need to remind myself that it’s partly serendipity and I can work my butt off and perfect my craft but if others don’t take notice, then I can’t personally help that. 🙂
That’s right, Teresa. There are all kinds of successes. I have no doubt that you have more than 31 achievements to add to your list. I know two more things that you are super successful at, and that is being a friend and supporting others. I hope you will reflect and give yourself a big “Atta Girl” pat on the back because I know you work your butt of perfecting your craft. I hope you’ll come back and share some of your “Atta Girls” when your list is done.
[…] challenged her followers to celebrate what they accomplished in 2013 in a fun blog post called “31 Just for Fun.” I participated last […]
Thanks for sharing, Marcie. Congratulations on a hugely successful year. You are a powerhouse my friend!
Here’s mine! http://www.marcieatkins.com/2013/12/18/31-for-fun-2013-edition/
Thanks for your encouragement–always!
This is great, Marcie! That encouragement thing is a two-way street, so thank you.
[…] writing the 31 for fun post, thanks to Alayne Kay Christian’s encouragement, I realized I need to do this more often. No more waiting until the end of the year […]
This is a great idea Marcie. Thanks for the shout out.
[…] « JUST SAY NO TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS WITH THIRTY-ONE JUST FOR FUN […]
I love this Alayne! 😀 So positive and what a great way to wind up the year.
Thanks, Meg. It is a fun and positive way to wave goodbye to one year and say hello to the next.
[…] I want to share an old-old blog post from 2013 Just Say No to New Year’s Resolutions. It offers up a perfect way for writers, artists, or anyone really, to end a year and begin a new […]